Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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