but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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