Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize