Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
