is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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