Porn is love you can see.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
