this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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