i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
