she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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