So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I need a beard to bite.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
