i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
