Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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