you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize