the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize