Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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