She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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