i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
