But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
