So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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