she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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