You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize