but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
