I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
