whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize