dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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