I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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