Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
