It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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