Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
