i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
