we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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