Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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