i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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