i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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