Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
