Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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