dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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