May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
