Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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