Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
