is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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