Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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