My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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