We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
