talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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