Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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