We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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