i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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