I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
