I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
