My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
