Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My breasts were aching with rage.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
