OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
