ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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